People in relationships often move in different directions without even knowing it. Even some of the best intentioned people who really care for each other experience conflict and challenges because they are not on the same page.
I'm a big supporter of clarity in relationships. Clarity is when everyone involved understands what's going on in the relationship. It does away with assumptions, secrets, guesses, misunderstandings and frustration because we actually get to figure out what's going on.
How to gain clarity? Next time you encounter conflict in any relationship do the following to really understand what's going on:
1. Each person talks uninterrupted about how they see the situation?
2. Each person listens carefully without judging, rebutting or giving advice.
3. Each person asks open ended questions to clarify what is going on.
4. The people agree on a way to proceed.
Dialogue is very important to achieving clarity. Make sure to practice listening skills and asking questions. Open ended questions are questions that don't lead to a yes or no answer and allow the other person to meaningfully explain where they are coming from.
This is a style of talking about relationship issues that doesn't require confrontation; it's just about people listening to each other and sharing their points of view. Try it sometime to gain clarity on what's going on in your relationship.
Take care,
Guy
Life Coach in Reno
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Monday, February 5, 2007
Balance and Leadership
I was talking to a very accomplished executive today who felt overwhelmed by everything going on in his life at work. Upon examination he realized that he had been juggling a great deal of different projects and hadn't taken time to think about the things that once had made him a balanced leader. The daily grind had reduced him to a reactive person he barely recognized. His employees were showing all the signs that they were not happy either.
We become so engrossed in living life at a rapid pace that we forget that we can enjoy things better if we pause occasionally to relax, recharge and reflect. The only caveat is that you have to deliberately carve time out of your day to refocus and recharge. Take some time in your day to not do anything. Look at a sunset, sit by a stream, go walking in the city with no particular goal. Life becomes more enjoyable when we take time to regain our balance. It also has the effect of making our employees happier. Happier employees make us more money.
Balance helps us be better leaders. It helps us relate to others from a position of calm and understanding. It helps us do away with the constant putting out of fires and working in crisis mode. Balanced leaders simply live better lives, create better workplaces and produce better results.
Balance helps us maintain a generally positive course that will help us connect with our employees in ways no amount of directive supervision can. It grounds us and helps us make decisions based on careful forethought. How does one achieve balanced leadership? By working on it starting today.
Take care,
Guy
Life Coach in Reno
We become so engrossed in living life at a rapid pace that we forget that we can enjoy things better if we pause occasionally to relax, recharge and reflect. The only caveat is that you have to deliberately carve time out of your day to refocus and recharge. Take some time in your day to not do anything. Look at a sunset, sit by a stream, go walking in the city with no particular goal. Life becomes more enjoyable when we take time to regain our balance. It also has the effect of making our employees happier. Happier employees make us more money.
Balance helps us be better leaders. It helps us relate to others from a position of calm and understanding. It helps us do away with the constant putting out of fires and working in crisis mode. Balanced leaders simply live better lives, create better workplaces and produce better results.
Balance helps us maintain a generally positive course that will help us connect with our employees in ways no amount of directive supervision can. It grounds us and helps us make decisions based on careful forethought. How does one achieve balanced leadership? By working on it starting today.
Take care,
Guy
Life Coach in Reno
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