Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Joy in Life


When I coach people they often tell me they have difficulty experiencing joy in their lives. Joy is a wonderful concept which I define as experiencing pure bliss and contentment. Joy is also complex in that we could not experience it if we did not also experience pain. A life of perpetual joy would soon begin to feel bland, so we need the ups and downs that come with everyday experience.

How do you define joy? Joy can be that moment at which you feel complete happiness and want for nothing else. It can be gazing into someone's eyes whom you love or doing something that means a lot to you. Joy is what we experience when we work through difficulties and as we let go of the things that bring us down. Here's what some smart people have to say about the matter:


Pearl S. Buck:

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.


Audre Lorde:

The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.


Kahlil Gibran:

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?


May you experience great joy in your life,

Guy
Life Coach in Reno

Monday, June 18, 2007

Are You Insecure?

Insecurity chips away at many people's self-esteem and keeps us stuck feeling poorly about ourselves. It can even affect our relationships because it inserts and unhealthy element into the relationship. Insecurity can be defined as when someone feels that they are not worthwhile. People feel insecure when they are scared, feel threatened or feel like they are not important.

Some people withdraw when they are insecure others lash out. Regardless of how we behave, insecurity is about how we feel about ourselves. So what can we do to feel better about ourselves. Think of the following ideas to boost your self confidence and reduce your insecurity.

Characteristics of Secure People

Aren't threatened by others.
Listen well and don't require attention by talking.
Don't require attention all the time.
Are comfortable with other people's success.
Don't feel they have to win.
Don't put other people down to make themselves feel better.

Characteristics of Insecure People
Threatened by others.
Talk a lot to get attention.
Need to be the center of attention.
Jealous of others' success.
Competitive, always need to win.
Put people down to feel better.

Think of yourself, where do you fall on these two extremes? If you see yourself on the insecure side, don't worry, all you have to do is increase some of the positive traits. Even very insecure people can feel better about themselves by doing things that allow them to experience their own success.

I suggest to my clients that they find out something they like to do and pursue it. Learn from the successes and challenges in life and you will learn how to feel great about yourself. Feeling secure takes some practice but the rewards are amazing.

I wish you an insecurity-free life,

Guy
Reno Life Coach