Communication in Relationships

People often ask me what to do on a date or in a relationship when trying to start a conversation. Many of us learned how to communicate in our families and with friends so we may only know one style; our own. Learning a couple of basic skills can help us make the most of communicating with anyone. Try these ideas next time you are talking to a date or someone you are in a relationship with.

1. Listen actively.
2. Ask open ended questions.
3. Listen actively.
4. Did I mention listening actively?

One of the easiest ways to help a conversation get started and build is to listen and ask questions. To be an active listener try the following:

1. Look at the other person.
2. Really listen carefully and give all your attention to what the other person says rather than thinking about what you want to say next.
3. Nod or say uh-huh to indicate you are listening.

Open ended questions are formed by asking questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. Ask “What did you think about that?” rather than “I bet your really thought that was horrible.” The open ended question will invite the other person to tell you more rather than answering yes or no.

Try these common sense ideas and you will be on your way to gaining a new understanding of other people. I wish you all the best as you begin mastering the art of communication.

Have a communication filled day,

Guy
Reno Life Coach

I Always Go Out with Losers

Many have had the experience of going out with someone who is not good for us. First let's clarify that there is no such thing as a loser, just people who haven't yet found a way to move in a positive direction. We often actively contribute to getting stuck in negative patterns and we label the other person as a loser rather than looking at ourselves. Ask yourself these questions next time you're wondering why you are stuck going out with less than marvelous people:

1. What does being with this person say about me?
2. How can I move in a different direction?
3. What can I do to improve myself so I don't attract these people?
4. What can I learn from this?
5. Do I have a plan for change?

Everyone is capable of attracting good people. There really are no losers at all, just people who are stuck in negative patterns. Good luck finding your positive pattern.

Take care,

Guy
Life Coach Reno

Get Help to Fix Your Relationship Problem

A lot of us prefer to try to fix our problems on our own rather than reach out to others. We may ask for help from friends or family but with limited success. We hesitate to ask for help because we have been taught that we should take care of things ourselves.

The good news is that there have been advances in the kind of help we can receive in the last 20 years. The stigma associated with looking for outside help is going away. Many of my clients say they have difficulty going to therapy. Although I think therapy is an excellent way to work out issues there are also alternatives such as coaching.

When I work with people we don't go into mental health issues or dwell in the past. It is not because these things aren't important but rather because coaching deals with the here and now and what you can do to improve it in the future.

I work with people to help them figure out what's going on and help them formulate a plan to fix it. This approach is helpful for people who just need a supportive outside person who can motivate them to move in the direction they choose.

If you have been looking for a way to deal with relationship issues or problems perhaps coaching is a good option for you. A coach helps you get what you want out of your relationships by clearing away that obstacles and helping you design your new path to happiness.

Have a great relationship day,

Guy
Life Coach Reno

5 Steps to Great Dating

Great dating is about knowing who you are and how to be treated well. We often go for exciting people rather than those who will treat us well and will become more exciting over time. Think about the following next time you are trying to improve your dating experiences:

1. Who am I as a person?
2. What do I want out of dating?
3. Do the people I date build me up as a person and make me feel great about myself?
4. Do I date because I'm healthy and happy or do I date to fulfill some other need?
5. Am I doing things to date people who share my interests and dreams?

Dating doesn't have to be serious and boring, it can be very exciting when you find people who really share your interests and who treat you well. Always keep in mind that you deserve to date people who make you feel great and let you be who you are.

Have a great dating day,

Guy
Life Coach Reno

You Can Do It

The only thing that separates those who succeed from those who don't is follow through. Many of us can envision doing something but we don't take any steps to actually do it. I work with my clients to help them understand that they really can do anything they want. Think about the following steps next time you wish you could do something and use them to motivate yourself to do them.

1. What do you want to do? This is your goal.
2. What can you do today to move toward your goal? This gets you moving.
3. What will you do within one month to keep doing things.
4. Keep doing it.

Nobody ever completes or succeeds at any project unless they start. Once you start the only thing you have to worry about it how to keep going. You will naturally run into roadblocks and challenges. You will learn a lot about yourself based on how you keep yourself motivated.

Once you realize that you don't have to give up your hopes and dreams and that you can really do something about transforming your life, you can begin enjoying the fruits of your labor.

Have an action filled life,

Guy
Life Coach Reno

Dating Advice and Online Coaching

One proven way to find dates is to work on yourself first and do the things you love. Too often we spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to find the perfect person or mold someone else into what we would like rather than first understanding who we are and what we are looking for. The people who prove to be the most successful in dating at a meaningful level are those who surround themselves with people and activities that they really enjoy.

When you work on yourself and do things you love you begin moving your life in a direction where you move amongst people who have interests like yours. Find what it is that really makes you happy and move in those circles. In that way, you increase your chances of meeting someone who actually shares your interests and philosophy.

Get yourself as healthy as possible and you will attract the same. The better you feel about yourself the more it wards off the people who love misery. You attract what you project. When you are healthy you realize that you deserve to be treated well and you tend to attract people who are in a similar state of mind. When you are unhealthy, people see you coming and you will attract people who are willing to capitalize on your vulnerability or share their misery with you.

A thought on online romance. We frequently rely on the internet to connect with others but there is a lot to be said for giving up the safety and fantasy of sitting at a computer for the greater challenge of meeting people face to face. Enjoy getting out there in the real world and show people who you are in person and that you deserve a healthy, rewarding relationship.

Have a great dating day,

Guy
Life Coach Reno