Many people get caught in the trap of living their lives with a wounded ego. Ego refers to our inner perception of the outside world. This means that we can experience the world based both on our most noble and healthy impulses or most toxic and disabling. If our perception is positive, we tend to view our role in the world as interconnected with others and healthily interacting. We base our decisions on the security we feel about ourselves and our sense of balance and well-being. If we function more on the negative side of the spectrum we tend to view the world based on our fears and feelings of insecurity. We might rely on mistaken notions of power, controlling others, need for attention, desire to dominate or yearning for love.
The challenge for people arises in that ego can reflect our most dysfunctional characteristics and we get stuck listening only to that inner voice. If we only listen to the voice that reminds us of our insecurities or hurts then our lives move in a certain direction. Answer the following questions to get a feel for how your ego is working for you.
1. In what ways am I constantly working on being the best person I can be?
2. I what ways do I get my stuff on other people?
3. In what ways do I depend on others to make me happy?
4. In what ways do I help build up others?
5. What is my view of competition?
6. What is my view of winning and losing?
As you answer these questions you will likely see a pattern emerging that will show you how healthy your ego is. Remember that your ego is healthy when you are so confident and secure that you live a great life and help others to do the same. You don't feel threatened by others and you enjoy their success as much as yours.
A healthy ego will tend to stay in balance, reacting appropriately from calmness and kindness. For those of you who already live this way, you know the deep happiness that comes from feeling you're great and appreciating others' greatness as well. You get to be you at your finest and most balanced.
Take care,
Guy
